I Was Broken 2b Restored

I am rejoicing today because the Lord blessed me to wake up on my 57th birthday, and because this is also the 7 year anniversary of Broken-2b-Restored.

I shared my first post on my 50th birthday on November 2, 2011.  When I prayed about starting this blog the Lord gave me the title Broken-2b-Restored.  I knew I wanted to write words to share some of my testimony in hopes my experiences would encourage and lift up others.  I also knew I wanted to share with others how to love God while also, learning to love yourself in spite of experiencing brokeness.

I must admit that in my younger years I was not sure how to love God and how to allow Him to love on me. I would feel that I was not worthy of His love.  I would wonder how could He love me when I didn’t spend time with Him like I should.  I kept thinking I have to get myself together in order for Him to love me and to bless me.  Also, I resisted feeling His love because of how others who said they loved me mistreated me.

I have since learned that no matter how broken or hurt I was, God has  always been there unconditionally loving on me.   When others have turned their backs on me, walked away and mistreated me, God was always there to lift me up and keep me going. When others did not tell the truth about me to justify their own bad behavior, God was always there to comfort me and to not allow me to wallow in self-pity or unforgiveness. When my own choices and decisions caused me hurt and pain, God has always  been there for me to lean and depend on.  God would not allow me to give up, give in or give out!

How could I not see His love for me and how could I not understand that in spite of my brokeness, He was going to love me anyway?  No matter how many times I experienced brokeness, God never left me.  I thank God for His revelation and  transformation in my life!

I was broken 2b restored and I was restored because of His love for me.

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Dear Lord,  thank You so much for another day in my life.  Thank You for all the grace and mercy You have shown me over the years.  Dear Lord, I know  I would not be who I am and where I am if it had not been for your precious love for me.  I thank You for the precious blood of Jesus that was shed for me.   I thank You for the comfort of the Holy Spirit Who abides in me.   I am so grateful that in my times of brokeness You have loved me and restored me.   I was broken 2b restored and I am forever grateful! In Jesus’ name, I say Amen!

“Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.  Your righteousness is like the highest mountains, your justice like the great deep.  You, Lord, preserve both people and animals. How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!  People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.  They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights.  For with you is the fountain of life, in your light we see light.”   Psalm 36:5-9 (NIV)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Now, God?

It’s been well over a year since I published a post on this blog.  Many things have occurred in my life since I wrote ” Moving Forward”.  I have moved to another state, gone through a divorce, become an empty nester and most recently, I celebrated my 55th birthday!  Over these months, I have thought about writing, I have wanted to write and I have been blessed with many topics to write about. However, for some reason, I have not been able to write. Even when I have tried to write, I could get no further than a few sentences.  In fact, I am in awe right now that I have finished a complete paragraph.  Praise God!

I have been asking God when do I get to write again?  I have been asking, what now, God, for so many areas of my life which also include continuing with writing this blog. Over and over again, I kept hearing, “be still” or “not yet”.  I have been spending quite a bit of time alone talking to God and trying to declutter my own thoughts so I could clearly hear Him. From my own spiritual perspective, I felt like I was stuck! I’ve been reading the Word of God, listening to message after message, reading devotional after devotional, playing worship music and trying to utter prayers in hopes of moving things along. As much of this as I have done, I kept feeling like I was stuck, like I was not really moving forward.

So today, the question, “What Now, God”, arose in my spirit again. After I left church service and thought about the Word that was ministered to us today, I kept asking “what now?”  This was not the theme of today’s message at church, but as I thought about some of the things the pastor said, I kept thinking what now, God?  And now, this evening as I powered on my laptop, and I started to draft this post, I started to read 2 Chronicles, Chapter 20 verse 12 when Jehoshaphat said “we do not know what to do, but our eyes are on You”!  Jehoshaphat was surrounded by his enemies. He was stuck, but yet He knew something had to be done.  He felt powerless, but yet he knew he could go to God and ask, what now?  (Of course, that’s not quite how he phrased it.)

And the Lord answered him with don’t be afraid or dismayed at how great the multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God’s!

Are you feeling powerless? Stuck? Is your back up against a wall? Heavy burdened? If so, it’s ok for you to ask, what now, God? Then, listen for His voice to say, my child, you don’t have to feel stuck, you don’t have to feel like I have left you alone, you don’t have to think that I brought you this far to leave you!  The Lord is saying to you, stop thinking that you won’t be healed, or you won’t overcome the depression or you won’t be delivered from the addiction or you won’t be set free from the shame or guilt.  Stop looking at how  the enemy has come at you with health issues, bad thoughts, family troubles and financial burdens.  Don’t let the enemy make you feel like you can’t finish school, or that you won’t get the job or the promotion. Let God work all of that out for you, let Him fight the battle for you!

In verses 16 and 17, God gave Jehoshaphat clear instructions about the next day. God said, tomorrow go down against them, you will see them coming up against you. God said, but you don’t have to fight, just position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord!

Did you get all of that?  When you feel surrounded by the attacks on your life, when you feel overwhelmed by your circumstances, when your flesh is getting weak, ask God “what now” and get in position for your breakthrough! Your enemy is not prepared for your “what now” prayer!

God says, He is going to ambush those attacks coming against you. He is going to move you from that place of being stuck to victory!  He is going to defeat your enemy and scatter your naysayers.  You need to start praising HIM this evening for what HE is going to do tomorrow!  In verse 21,  Jehoshaphat appointed some to sing  for the Lord and some to praise the splendor of His holiness.  Their praise was “give thanks to the Lord for His faithful love endures forever.”

This is your notice, you have been appointed to praise Him!  Tomorrow is your day of victory!

When we ask, what now, God?   He answers with  “This is not your battle, this is the Lord’s battle and God will fight for you!”

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Dear Lord,  I thank You for my “what now” moment and that I can look to You for guidance, protection and a strategy for my circumstances. I thank You for letting me know this is not my battle, but Yours.  I thank You for getting me out of this place of being stuck and surrounded, and for ambushing my enemy!  Lord, I am going to praise You right now for the victory!  Lord, because You are fighting my battle for me, I have a great expectancy for tomorrow!  In the mighty name of  Jesus, Amen!

 

 

 

 

 

2015: Taking My Praise With Me!

As we approach 2015, I have read quite a few posts about what people will leave behind. Naturally, they want to leave the hurt, the pain and sorrow, disappointment, betrayals and all negativity behind.    I also started to ponder over what I would leave behind, but then I started to consider what I would take with me.   As I enter into 2015, I am taking my praise with me!

I am entering 2015 with praise and I am excited about all God has in store for me.   2014 has been a great year for me even in spite of some challenges and circumstances that came my way. Through it all, I made the decision to trust God and give Him praise even during the times when I was struggling, hurt and brokenhearted.  In the midst of tears flowing and wondering why I was going through what I was going through, I would tell God that I trusted Him and that I was going to praise Him no matter how I was feeling!  As down as I would feel at times, I would continue to praise Him because I knew that my joy was on the way. I knew that He had never left me or forsaken me. I knew He was restoring what was  broken and He was still blessing me.  I continued to praise Him even when I didn’t feel up to it and I continued to praise Him even when I thought He was silent in my circumstances!

I am definitely taking my praise into 2015. My praise gives me hope and peace. My praise tells God that I trust Him in all areas of my life.  My praise allows me to rejoice in Jesus who died just for me.

Psalm 100

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.
    Worship the Lord with gladness;
    come before him with joyful songs.
Know that the Lord is God.
    It is he who made us, and we are his[a];
    we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving
    and his courts with praise;
    give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;
    his faithfulness continues through all generations.

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I pray, in the wonderful name of Jesus, that you enter 2015 with praise, and that you have a Happy and Blessed New Year!  I pray you shout for joy, because His love endures forever!

A View Versus A Vision!

 

The Lord said to Abram after Lot had parted from him, “Look around from where you are, to the north and south, to the east and west. All the land that you see I will give to you and your offspring forever. I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth, so that if anyone could count the dust, then your offspring could be counted. Go walk through the length and breadth of the land, for I am giving it to you.” (Genesis 13:14-17)

We do not see what God sees.  We see what is currently in front of us and God sees our future, our destiny and our purpose. We have a view but God has a vision.  A view is the actual extent or range of your vision.  Vision is the power of anticipating that which may come to be! In the scripture above, Abram had a view of the land in front of him. The vision was in the length and breadth of all the land and the offspring to come.  The view to Abram was that he and his wife, Sarai, were too old to have children.  The vision was the offspring that would be too numerous to count!

Our view is so much different from God’s vision.  We see our current situation and God sees what will come to pass.

The view is the struggle; the vision is the victory!

The view is the cancer; the vision is the healing!

The view is the unemployment; the vision is the new business!

The view is living from paycheck to paycheck; the vision is the harvest!

The view is the  problem; the vision is the praise!

Abram was a man of great faith.  He made a decision to trust and believe in God’s promises to him.  As he walked through the length and breadth of the land, he experienced some setbacks and some situations, but he kept on walking in faith.   Are you focusing on your current view right now? Or has God given you a vision?  Continue walking in faith.  God has plans to prosper you and give you hope for your future!

Don’t give up!

Don’t let the view distract you!

The vision is so much better!

To the persecutors of Jesus, the view was death on the Cross.  The vision was eternal life and salvation!

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Dear Lord, I am thankful that you have better things in store for me than I what I can see right now. I am thankful that Your vision will bring me through this current view that I have.  I am leaning and trusting on You, Dear Father, as I take this walk of faith to get to where You would have me to be!  In Jesus’ name, I say Amen!

He’s Been So Good To Me!

imagesCA6AUK6K

I am rejoicing!

He’s been so good to me!

I have unspeakable joy

He’s been so good to me!

I  delight in my Lord and Savior

 He’s been so good to me!

I have an overflow of praise

He’s been so good to me!

I am more than a conqueror

He’s been so good to me!

I am blessed beyond measure

He’s been so good to me!

I am the head and not the tail

He’s been so good to me!

I am fearfully and wonderfully made

 He’s been so good to me!

Again, I say, I am rejoicing

Because He’s been so good to me!

Moving Forward

  Sometimes we get to a  point in our lives, where we have to make a decision to either stand still, go backwards or move forward.  It would seem likely that we would choose to go forward, but in reality we don’t always make that our first choice. Hopefully, going backwards is never the choice. However, it’s the standing still that might cause other problems to arise or get worse.

I’ve recently had to make some personal decisions in my life and I chose to move forward.  This was not my first choice.  I had stood still in a situation for a long time.  I thought progress was being made but then I realized there had been little to no progress.  I made myself believe I was moving forward even when the same issues and problems continued to exist.  I was praying about it and I was still holding on.  When I came to the realization there was no progress, I knew it was time to take some steps. I did not want to stay in that same place and I refused to go backwards. I needed to move forward.

The hardest part about moving forward is that sometimes we have to let go of things and people we have had in our lives for a long time.  We allow ourselves to believe what we are going through is normal, when it’s really not. We allow ourselves to become comfortable in uncomfortable situations. We allow ourselves to accept less than what we deserve.  We convince ourselves to hold on because of the love we have for that person and we fear moving on.

My first few steps were tough. I felt like I had cement in my shoes and I had to lift one foot up and put it down before I could think about moving the other foot.  In taking these steps, I have  had to make my situation transparent to family and friends  who had no clue about what was going on in my personal life. I’ve had to deal with the questions, the surprised reactions, the silence, the sympathy and the gossip.  I had to move from what seemed normal and comfortable onto a path I had not expected I would be taking.  I am moving forward.

I take every day step by step. Some days are better than others.  Some days I get through the day without crying and then there are days I  ask God to stop the tears from flowing.  Even with the tears, I am moving forward.  I don’t have time to look back and wonder why for the rest of my life. I understand that I may not get answers to some of  my own questions, but I do know I am moving forward.

I have been told I am a strong woman.  It’s not that I am so strong, it’s because I have a God who has never left me or forsaken me. I have a God who strengthens me when I am weak and a loving God who wipes away all of my tears. I have a God who will fight my battles for me and who will not allow any weapon formed against me to prosper.  I have a God who will supply my every need. I have a God who gives me peace and joy.  I have a God who restores me even in my brokenness.  I have a God who has ordered my steps. I am moving forward.

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Dear Lord, I am praying for someone who does not know that it’s time to move forward. I am praying for the person who does not know how to take that first step.  Lord, I ask You, in the name of Jesus, to give them the will to let go of past hurts, disappointments, unforgiveness, shame and self-pity.  I pray they will no longer allow themselves to be accepting of the uncomfortable places they are in.  I am praying for their strength and determination so they can move forward and receive the blessings You have in store for them. I am believing for them that every stronghold of guilt, abandonment, neglect, mistreatment, and depression will be broken off of their lives.  I am believing You will restore their souls. I pray for their restoration of faith, hope, peace, self-confidence, and joy.  Dear Lord, create in them a clean heart and lead them on the path of righteousness.  I am praying this is the day, they surrender all to You and they move forward! In the powerful and mighty name of Jesus, I say Amen!

 

5 Steps to Your Restoration!

worship_b_20-05-2012In a previous post I shared that God had placed three words on my heart for this year. Those words are  Release, Restore and Rejoice.  I have already written a post on Release entitled “Let It Go!” (See Broken-2b-Restored.com/Release)

Today’s post will focus on the word Restore!

When I looked up the definition of restore, I found several meanings.  Restore can mean to re-establish; or to put back; or it can mean to bring back into existence.  The definition that stood out the most to me was this one:  “to bring back to a former, more desirable condition.”

Are there areas in your life in need of restoring?  Have you been faced with an unexpected set back that nearly knocked you off your feet?  Are you holding on to some past hurts and disappointments that are hindering you from moving forward?  Have you been left with a broken heart and don’t feel that you can trust to be in love or to really be loved again?  In the midst of your setbacks, past hurts and disappointments, God can restore you and He will restore you!   Only He can restore you to a better place, a better position and a better condition than you were before!

Here are 5 Steps to your restoration:

1. Confess your brokenness! – God already knows what you are going through.  It’s just good spiritual therapy for you to get it out in the open with Him and to seek His forgiveness. Talking to God will strengthen your relationship with Him.   Isaiah 55: 6 says, “Seek the Lord while He may be found; call on Him while He is near!”

2. Trust God – In your time of restoration, take direction from Proverbs 3:5 which tells you to trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  You may not understand why you have experienced your brokenness and you may not understand how He is  restoring you.  You just have to trust Him to work it out for your good and then you will be able to give God  the glory that is due to Him!

3. Forgive – Forgive yourself and be ready to forgive others.  Sometimes we think it is hard to forgive others, but I have also struggled with forgiving myself.  As I analyze the areas of my own brokenness, I have to admit, that in some cases, I was just as responsible as the ones who wronged me. I made some choices that led me down a path of being hurt and mistreated. There were times when I could have walked away before experiencing complete brokenness, but I chose to stay in the mess that I was in.  I have had to learn how to forgive myself.  As I am maturing in my relationship with Christ, I am also learning to be more forgiving of others.  It is not always easy to do but that’s when I talk to God and when I have to trust God.  I know I am being restored, when God will have me pray for the person who has wronged me.  Matthew 6:12 asks God to forgive us the wrongs we have done, and allow us to forgive the wrongs that others have done to us.

4. Stay prayerful – In your time of restoration, continue to pray.  In fact, pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17)! In your process of being healed, delivered, and/or restored, continue to pray.  Being restored is a process; it won’t happen over night.  When you are in the Potter’s  hands, He is molding you into a better and stronger vessel than you were before you experienced your brokenness.  As you go through the process, cast all your cares and worries on Him because He truly does care for you. (1 Peter 5:7)

5. Be thankful – when you can praise God in the midst of your brokenness and in the process of being restored, you are being obedient to God’s word.  1 Thessalonians 5:18 says that you are to give thanks in everything; for that is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you!  Remember that trouble does not last always.  So this should tell you that even in “your process of going through the process”, your outcome will be one of victory!  Just knowing you will be restored, no matter the place your are in right now, is reason enough to give Him thanks!

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My Heavenly Father, thank You for all that You have done for me and all that You are doing for me.  Even in my brokenness, I know that I already have complete healing and restoration because of You.  I thank You for Your Word that I can meditate on day and night.  I thank You for Your continued blessings as I go through the process of being restored.  Dear Lord, thank You for making me better and stronger than I was before.  In Jesus’ precious and mighty name, Amen!

I Am Still Here!

photo (2)  Today, November 2nd, is the two-year anniversary of Broken-2b-Restored.com!  I am grateful to all who have continued to read my posts and thankful for when you have shared them with others.  I appreciate every comment and every word of encouragement! I am thankful for all of the new followers of my blog! God blessed me to publish my first post two years ago on my birthday and I am praying for His continued inspiration as I move forward!  I am thankful to my Lord and Savior, because I know He has richly blessed my life.

Today, I am celebrating me and the 52 years He has given me! I am so glad He woke me up this morning!  Even with some hurts and disappointments I have had to endure, I am still joyful!  I still have a great expectancy as to where God is leading me!  Because of His love for me I am still here! Thank You, Jesus!

Psalm 18

I love you, Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Release (Let Go)

In the beginning of 2013, I wrote three words down in one of my journals.  They were Release, Restore and Rejoice!  Although I try to stay away from making New Year’s resolutions,  I guess I could consider these words as my resolutions for this year.  As we enter into the last few months of 2013, God has reminded me of these words in order for me to reflect on where I am now.  Today’s post is on the word Release and upcoming posts will tie in Restore and Rejoice!

“Release” means to escape from confinement or to be set free!  It also means to allow something to move or to flow freely.  Ask yourself this question, what or who are you holding on to that is not allowing you to move freely in your relationship with God?   What is restricting you from moving forward? Notice that I asked what are “you” holding on to!

Sometimes we find ourselves trapped  because we continue to hold on to what is familiar or what feels comfortable in our lives.   Our mindset is not to change because we feel everything is okay just as it is.   We hold on to crutches such as past hurts, failures, disappointments, and rejections.   Sometimes we think just because we messed up in the past that we can’t do any better or that we are not deserving of anything better. We, unfortunately, allow ourselves to think that just because we have failed  a few times in this life, that we will never get it right. Or we allow ourselves to think that just because it is comfortable or familiar to us, that we do not need a change.  So, what do we do?  We continue to do the same things and we continue to hold onto the past as if there is no hope for a better outcome or a better future.

God does not want us to hold on to past hurts and failures.  He does not want us to feel restricted or confined.   It is time to release and let go!  There are times we will not forgive ourselves even though God has already forgiven us!  It is time to forgive ourselves, forgive others and move on!  It is time to walk freely in the blessings God has for us! God wants us to lean and depend on Him. He wants us to draw closer to Him; to feel His love and feel His presence in our lives.  How can we do this if we continue to hold on to things that weigh us down or hold us back?  Jeremiah 29:11-13 says:

“For I know the thoughts and plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, ” plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with your whole heart.”

God has a future filled with His promises just waiting for you.  Are you hindering yourself from receiving all of your blessings?  Are you holding onto some things you should have released a long time ago?  Release and turn them over to God. Psalm 55:22 says “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” 

As we get ready to close out another year in just a few short months, think about what it is you need to release.  Spend time in prayer and meditate on God’s word.  Are there some  issues and fears that you don’t need to take over into another year with you?  Fears, doubts, hesitations and past failures will restrict you from moving forward.  It’s time to release and let go!

crutches

PRAYER

Dear Lord, grant me discernment and guide me as I let go of those things that are restricting me in my walk with You.  Set me free from things that I am holding on to that are preventing me from moving forward.   I am releasing the crutches of failure, hurt, negativity and disappointment.  I am leaning, depending and trusting on You. Lord, help me to forgive myself. Thank You, Lord, for Your grace and mercy in my life; thank You for forgiving me.  Today, I am releasing and letting go. I am moving forward!  In Jesus’ name, Amen!

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So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed! (John 8:36)

Where Did The Time Go?

Just a few months ago I was eagerly anticipating my youngest daughter’s graduation from high school.  When that day and that moment arrived,  my heart was filled with mixed emotions.  I was a proud mother to see her stand before her graduating class and deliver the commencement address; but I also knew it was time to let her go.  I kept asking God where did the time go?  It seems like You just gave her to me and now. . .

And now, here  we are already in September and she has completed 2 weeks in college.  Where did the time go? I now have two in college and one beginning  his Senior year in high school.   I have watched my three children grow from babies into young adults and I can’t help but to marvel as to how the time has flown by.

It seems like it was just yesterday when I was taking them to  daycare and kindergarten.  I must admit the thought of my children not being home every night has been tough at times.  Over the years I have gotten comfortable in knowing they were safe and secure in their rooms and close by if I needed to look in on them.  Now,  I’m watching my son go out in the evenings to hang out with his friends knowing that within less than a year he will also be on his way to college.  There is so much going on in the world these days, that it’s only natural you want to protect your loved ones at all times, especially your children.  You want to keep them close by as if nothing could happen to them at home, school,  church or in places we call familiar.

The Sunday afternoon I had to leave Cecily at a college 4 hours from home, I had my emotions in check (or at least I thought I did!) I was so busy running around trying to make sure she had everything she needed before we left, that I did not have much time to think about getting emotional.  Just two years before I had taken her sister to school and figured I know how this works now; I can handle it! I’m a big girl! I’ve got this all under control!

Well, I’m sure you can guess what happened. As soon as it came time to give our hugs goodbye, I realized this was it. This was the moment of letting go!   Where did the 18 years go?  When I saw Cecily hugging her brother and sister goodbye, the tears just started to flow.  I could not stop them!  As I hugged her and the tears continued to flow, I said another prayer over my child and her new journey in life.  I gave thanks to the Lord for blessing me with her.  I  told Him that I was trusting Him even more to keep watch over her.

 You see, I needed this reassurance for me more so than I needed it for Cecily. For the past 18 years I’ve known this day would come. I’ve known that my assignment was to raise Cecily as best I could and to encourage her to have her own relationship with God.  He tells us in Isaiah 55 (NIV)

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

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Cecily Elise Matthews, although I am marveling at how fast the time has flown by, I know you are in God’s hands and you will continue to flourish.  He has a greater purpose and plan for you and it will be fulfilled.  Because of this, I am ok with the letting go and allowing you to grow and prosper according to His divine will. You are a blessing to me and I am blessed because you call me mommy!

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The link below is a post I had the opportunity to write when my oldest daughter graduated from high school 2 years ago. The words “Take Courage” still resonate within me today.  Thanks, to my sister Change Agents, Renee and Roslyn! Love you both!

http://doubleportioninspiration.blogspot.com/2011/06/take-courage.html